K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
