It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize