new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
