my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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