I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize