im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just high enough for therapy.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
