ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
