I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
