my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
