Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
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