Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
