mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
