First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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