Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
