My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
