Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize