And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
