There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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