Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
