She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
