Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
