U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
