Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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