why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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