im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
