This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
