Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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