Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
