is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
