do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
