$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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