what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
