No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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