shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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