then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Congratulations! We have a period
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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