just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
