i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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