direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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