you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize