Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize