Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
