I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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