my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
