Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
