i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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