I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
