he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
ttyl tear gas
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
