I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
