it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
