I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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