Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
