i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
