i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
