Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Your dad touched me again.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
