i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
