I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
