Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize