Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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