so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
