that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
